Will This Be It?

Okay, so I don't know what it is exactly but I feel like I'm not sleeping as much and I'm just having more energy lately so I'm feeling motivated! I've said it plenty of times before but I'm crossing my fingers that this will actually be it (I know, I know it's all up to me). Like I said before I'm just not happy. I've been told it's a choice and I believe that, but I would also kind of feel like I was being fake if I don't really feel that way. Anyway a big factor for me not being happy is just not loving myself. I won't go in to the other reasons, but I know that all of it has been taking a toll on me and I bottle everything up and then wham! I slowly start taking my unhappiness out on others, which isn't fair... at all.

I said it two months ago...and obviously nothing has happened.....but I'm ready for the CHanGe! It won't happen overnight and I realize that it's going to be a LOT of work, but I'm ready to put ME first! yay!!! Don't get me wrong, I'll do anything for my kids so I'll have to get up extra early to go down on the treadmill. Maybe drag them along to the gym. Give up some tv shows to work out some more. It's all about sacrafice.

My goal is still the same. I want to be at 125-130 by October. If I work hard enough I think it will be possible. Unfortunatly, I don't know if it's possible for my stomach to look any different by then (maybe a little). It's torn so bad. I kind of want to just go ahead and have another baby so I can get it taken care of surgically without all of the extra costs! But, that would be silly, because I need to get my health back on track before even thinking about another baby.

WEll, a HUGE thanks to my family for all of the unbelievable support!! Crystal, It's time to show our competitiveness! On your mark, get set, go!!!

I'm ready to be ME again!